Do you think you can tell...? Real from Reel...?

(Note of caution to friends who might read this: DON'T make fun of me later...)
A few words about one of my favorite actors- Joaquin Phoenix. I watched this guy for the first time in ‘Gladiator’- that being his most critically acclaimed performance it’s hardly surprising I grew to like him. ‘Like him’ may be an understatement. Respect him, admire him and ‘Luuuurrve him’ is more like it… (For those who’ve started sniggering right about now, I mean in a STRICTLY non-teenagerish crush sort of way… I’ve carefully avoided mentioning that he has beautiful olive green eyes; eyes that seem capable of expressing a staggering depth of feeling…) Getting back to the point, Phoenix’s talent lies in being able to make any character seem real. He actually got people to sympathize with a sick bastard like Commodus. Even in his worst moments Commodus (maybe I should say Phoenix) retains his vulnerability, his insecurities and his desperate, heart-breaking need to be loved. There’s a part of me that believes that Commodus could have been saved from committing those terrible acts of injustice if his sister could have made herself love him… Then again that’s probably my naivety speaking… But Phoenix still deserves credit for showing that ‘a villain’ could have more than one side to him. I don’t know exactly how to express this, but it was even creepier watching him because Commodus was so naturally evil that he wasn’t a typical movie villain…
I’ve watched only a couple of his other movies in which he made his small appearances really count. (Return to Paradise and 8 mm) Quite a bit of what I like about Phoenix is what I’ve read about him. I’d like to believe that what I’ve read is true because I like people with passion and if what I’ve read about the guy is true then he IS one heck of a passionate person. The only person I’ve probably ever been inspired by is Michelangelo. It’s said of him that when he was working on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, he was so dedicated, so immersed in his work that he went days together without shaving, eating or paying attention to anything worldly. He had worked to a point where his health was completely deteriorating and he was going half blind. Now that is real passion. I guess what I’ve read about Phoenix’s dedication to a part reminds me of that. My compliment is probably undeserved because, in my head, NOBODY in this world deserves to be compared to Michelangelo. But, maybe, just maybe Phoenix has about a millionth of his passion and a billionth of his genius. Now that’s enough to make a pretty terrific actor….
I, for one, can’t wait for ‘Walk the Line’ to release and hopefully I can badger a few friends into watching it with me. Even if Phoenix doesn’t deliver the performance of his life, I’ll still have spent two hours staring into those beautiful eyes... Time well spent I’d say…

(Hmmm did I say, few words?)

Youdhaka...

I went to my first concert today at Alliance Francaise. It was by a great chennai- based band called 'Youdhaka'. The reason I went was to lend moral support to my friend, Sukriti, who was singing for them and I ended up having a terrific time! They had a brilliant percussionist, Siva, who played just about every percussion instrument in the world! Terribly impressive; he seemed to be having more fun than anyone else on stage and it was nice to see that. It shows that he really really lovedwhat he was doing. Their guitarist Akshay is a former PSBBian and was hence already known to me...The guy is a brilliant- he can do magical things with a guitar.. Not very theatrical though.. No banging the guitar, sliding along the floor etc. And dressed very normally as well- he'd even lost the "funky" long hair I'd last seen him with. Might need a little more training to be a rock star along the lines of Steven Tyler, Axl Rose etc... The lead singer Tanvi(?) had a wonderful voice which suited the off-beat songs very well. She sang this beautiful song called "Lambi Judaii", an old song by a Pakistani singer called Reshma. My friend, Stutie translated the lyrics to me. The song really gets to you.. Especially romantic ones like me.. It's a song about two lovers who've been apart. There were lots of good songs from completely different styles- Arabic, Egyptian, Irish etc etc...
I think really good music can conjure images for you- they can tell you stories without saying a word. Everytime I listen to a good, well- sung devotional song, I can see a picture/idol of God right in front of me. I listen to a song about Rama and I imagine Thyagaraja, lost in Rama, sitting down and singing. Often, when I listen to Floyd I can see lights flashing in an otherwise black space; everytime I listen to 'Another Brick in the Wall' I can see a huge procession of students walking like zombies. (MAN I BLABBER A LOT! SOMEBODY STOP MEEEE) That's what happened tonight for certain songs. I was listening to the somewhat latino like song and I could imagine people dancing the tango under the night sky. I listened to 'Lambi Judaii' and i could imagine a somewhat sad old lady singer, in a night club, singing for her first love. Now that's amazing music(to me)! I AM NOT SAYING THESE PEOPLE ARE AS GOOD AS FLOYD OR M.S.SUBBULAKSHMI or anything but I'm sayin they were PRETTY GOOD. They played with passion, immersed in their music and that will get them places.... It should anyways.
It was a great first time concert for me! Wish I could go for more. Now however I will get back to the classics on my computer. Floyd, Led Zep on the computer are still as good as any live concert...

Better late than never....?

Ah... it's a fine morning- Saturday morning always are. The one morning on which mothers don't grudge you any sleep; softened by watching you plod along to college at 730 every morning, they choose to let you stay in the blissful world of dreams for just a few hours longer. It makes all the difference.... Between a cranky, scowling pain in the ass and a cheerful, helpful delight to have around. Saturday mornings are even better when you're looking forward to going to a movie with your classmates... But then again, certain things can ruin the harmony of the most wonderful mornings- like classmates who are well over a half-hour late in picking you up for the movie, which sadly happens to be 'Bewitched' instead of 'The Interpretor'. Then you have nothing to take comfort in except perhaps bitching about these friends on your blog...

When the grass is greener and the light is brighter....

I woke up this morning to friendly skies and a grinning sun! I bunked college! And so it was i began the day as a cheerful girl with rosy cheeks waiting to take on the adventures that life offers rather than as a condemned prisoner with a back bent with the sins of the world, trudging along the path to the Pennalur Penitentiary(the name my "wise" seniors have assigned our beloved college, SVCE) At this point I must make it a point to say that I LOVE my college..(Like it a normal amount at any rate) The Pennalur Penitentiary and dog van bus cracks are just for fun.... Atleast I keep telling myself that....
AH, the day began with more good news- Liverpool won. Liverpool's special you know. They've got spirit, the history and the right players. Like Steven Gerrard. In recent times, there are no footballers who command more respect than he does. Imabgine backing from a far more lucrative deal with Chelsea on the day he was about to make it just because he couldn't imagine leaving Anfield with it's unique players and fans. Only in Liverpool will you see such acts of loyalty. They rock! Sadly Michael Owen no longer plays for them. I can't believe they didn't bring him back this time. Here I was dreaming of Owen, Gerrard, Carraghar, Hamann and Riise back together. Benitez ruined my dreams! Damn Rafa!
After dreaming for a while about liverpudlians, I jumped over to 'University Physics' by Sears and Zemansky. No, I am NOT a geek just like to read it sometimes... ! I suppose saying that I did it for fun, might be giving things away a bit... Physics is a brilliant Science but sometimes it requires a little TOO much thinking. You have to be in constant touch with it to be good at it. It's highly imaginative, hard as it for my NON-Science student friends to admit...
Anyways, off to enjoy my day away from the Sriperumbudur Center for Criminally Insane Engineering students....

The child is grown, the dream is gone....

Every once in a while, your heart feels heavy but you don't really know what to do to make yourself feel better... There's no particular reason really... or shall we say there's no reason you would acknowledge to yourself. I've tried music, staring at the endless night sky, reading a book, chatting on the phone(thats the worst actually, sadness clings to solitude like a best pal)- nothing works. Not even the tried and tested cure- 'Friends'. They're quite a bit like the amusing distant cousins you contact everytime you just wanna have fun, in a secure family environment. But anyways enough with the depression, I'll atleast try in this fit of melancholy to think of something else....
I read a three part series by Valerio Massimo Manfredi about Alexander the Great. It is as the author says, quite a "romance"- a tale that makes Alexander appear more as a Greek god rather than a mortal or even a demi god. Alexander was a childhood idol of mine. It was a silly romantic thing I suppose- I was always attracted to the warrior/knight types. Alexander the Great and Richard the Lionheart among the many. Actually there are some similarities between the two- both were universally proclaimed excellent warriors but very few would call them good kings. Richard was said to be unpopular at home but inspirational on the battlefield and the same with Alexander. But of course these are the common assumptions(?), misconceptions(?) about the two.
Going on to the novel, in Manfredi's eyes, Alexander can't do or think wrong. It certainly boosts my childhood image of him, but I'm far too old to believe in the idea of a man who can't think or do wrong; certainly not in the idea of a powerful man who can't think or do wrong. Every slight offence that he commits is invariably under the influence of alcohol- Sometimes he retains his senses even when intoxicated! The book depicts Alexander as retaining his childhood passions, dreams and even idealism to a certain extent... Though I desperately wish that it were true, it simply isn't believable. I don't think I'm a cynic. Can the most powerful man, a man who killed thousands ( hell millions) ; the man who killed his childhood friend and a loyal general; the man whose life it was to make war really have been somewhat innocent, trusting and vulnerable...? I guess at the end of the day, I like retaining my childhood image of Alexander- A glorious, noble, passionate, vulnerable, intelligent, moving human being.... Who just happened to conquer the world and slaughter millions. It's so easy to romanticise when you're young. Wish it were the same when you grow older. Or maybe I should be thankful it's not worse. Imagine the consequences, if I turned life into a fairytale.......
Enough rambling for today I suppose....

A Saturday in the life a jobless teenager....

I spent a very very relaxed day.... I went to bed at 1030 pm last night and got up 850 this morning… That long a sleep can cure any ailment in the world- 3 hrs of travel for five consecutive days in an SVCE bus included... It's really unfair that a few of us have to make do with, hell suffer on, dog-van like buses whereas some of our darn lucky college-mates get to go on airbuses. It's bad enough knowing that they're more comfortable, but those dratted pigs flaunt their good fortune every day, going past us EVER so slowly, reclining on their push-back chairs as three of us struggle to squeeze into one seat each of us holding our bags on our laps or using them as leg rests. (If God does indeed exist he sure doesn't visit the SVCE transport office!)
As I was typing, before being side-tracked, my super lazy day began late and continued leisurely as my friend, Stutie came over. We talked for hours and hours as only girls can(and Vivek) and about everything from guys to face wash to engineering graphics, again as only girls can(I'll spare Viv this time around). It's really amazing how you can make fast friends with a few people. It's just a wonderful feeling when you meet someone and realize I can confide in this person without the worry of being betrayed at or laughed at... It could be the moment when that person confides their worst secret in you; it could the first time you cry to them or it could be something as mundane as the first time you go to a temple with them. In my case of course, the moment was when my friends finally decided to tell me that I'm gonna be stuck with them for a long long LONG while.... It's happened to me about four times in my life... I know I'm terribly lucky though...
After Stutie left, pushed into doing so by Vivek’s persistent calling, I settled down to watch “To Kill a mockingbird”. Vivek and I, both in love with Atticus Finch, enjoyed every instant of the movie, which was almost as good as the book. Casting was perfect really- Gregory Peck WAS Atticus Finch and Mary Badham WAS Scout…. Of course, my being in love with Mr. Peck only made the movie more enjoyable! (For me that is- Vivek looked at me with barely contained disdain as I swooned over his every movement and every word.) After making completely vague and indefinite plans to meet tomorrow, I bid farewell…
The day was almost at an end, I had nothing to do but eat and lie back with book and wait for the angel of sleep to gather me into her arms and lull me into a blissful temporary death…

Conscience keeper...

My friend Vivek and I were discussing Atticus Finch the other day... He's probably my favorite fictional character. Sometimes I get the feeling he isn't even fictional. It's just that every time I read about Atticus I feel secure- like he was a father or uncle figure. Just someone who could always tell you what to do when faced with a problem; someone you could trust to tell you right from wrong. Vivek thinks I’m a bit like Scout which I probably am. I look up to my brother, Karthik, in the way Scout looked up to Jem. I would’ve been quite like her when I was young… There’s this part…
At one point Jem responds to Scout's protests about a night visit to the Radley Place telling her: "Scout, I'm tellin' you for the last time, shut your trap or go home--I declare to the Lord you're gettin' more like a girl every day!" With that, Scout says, she had no option but to join them…
I’ve always felt that I tried unconsciously to be very un-girl in order to win my brother’s approval; to get along with him and my cousin, Hari. I don’t mind really- this way I got to enjoy some of the advantages of being a bit of a tom-boy- it’s a ready-made excuse for being a dirty pig. Indian mothers think its ok for guys to be filthy but not girls…
Getting back to Atticus, he’s just brilliant really..! Imagine what sort of singular courage you must have to brave the entire society’s wrath and defend Tom Robinson. He did more than defend Tom Robinson- he defended his entire belief system. His integrity is peerless and the most inspirational thing I’ve ever read about. (Except possibly Irving Stone’s description of Michelangelo sculpting the statue of David) I could go on and on and on when writing about Atticus of course but I’ve got to go read my Chekov book… So to sum it up, Atticus rocks, and if I’m ever wondering what to do in a situation, I’ll just pick up ‘To kill a mockingbird’ and Atticus will point to the way…